Rain

I found a collection of creative writing that I did in year 10 (8 years ago). A lot of writing I did back then was generally about going through the teenage stages of life, but amongst them were… what I consider now to be the masterpieces of my younger years. My writing has come back to re-inspire me and show me the way back to being self confident about my work, when there were no wrong answers. Enjoy :).

—————-

Wednesday 6th September 2006

Rain

I am the rain that falls onto the trees
To give them life
Just sun will not suffice

I am the rain that falls into the rivers
For the fish to swim
Or for people to use as a bin

I am the rain collected in tanks
So people can drink
Or to rinse in the sink

I am the rain that falls in the reservoir
Taken to houses when plenty
No use to anyone if empty

I am the rain that runs through taps
With a purposeful use
Or just for waste and abuse

I am the rain that falls on the ground
In puddles is where I can be found
Before I make my way back to the clouds

I am the rain that connects the earth to the sky
Eternally separated as the years drift by
With lingering hope, I wish for this:
To bring the people’s hearts together
That peace and calm will remain forever

Catherine Nguyen
10 Catherine

Brand New Map

I found a collection of creative writing that I did in year 10 (8 years ago). A lot of writing I did back then was generally about going through the teenage stages of life, but amongst them were… what I consider now to be the masterpieces of my younger years. My writing has come back to re-inspire me and show me the way back to being self confident about my work, when there were no wrong answers. Enjoy :).

—————-

Wednesday 28th August 2006

Brand New Map

I want to make something out of my life,
So I’ll start with ending all strife.
I’ll draw a map out of the air,
Including things to make the world fair.

A left turn to achieve my dreams,
Walking east to start new means.
Running west to make amendments,
Looking up to count all my achievements.

One look to the back for desert ranges,
Look to the front for future changes.
Two steps forward for motivation,
A thousand steps come to revelation.

A stop to rethink priorities,
What comes first, what comes in the twenties.
A pause to get through obstacles,
Things in life can get a little bit subtle.

Show what I’m made of at checkpoints,
To let them know that I’m not spoilt.
I’ll fight to construct my creations,
Nothing will get in the way of my intuition.

It’s never too late to start,
Your life is made of what you carve.
Through roundabouts and winding roads,
A heart and mind stays true and bold.

I’ll be on my way.

Catherine Nguyen
Class: 10 Catherine

BACK-ON – wimp ft. Lil’ Fang (from FAKY)

tsuyogari no uragawa ni yowasa wo kakushiteta
nigenai yo kore kara wa… mou ichido ano sora e!!

tsukuri agetemo kowashite mata tsukutte
nanbyaku kai mo again and again!
demo makeru itami ni nare sugiteta
mitomeraretakute karamawatte
tsuyogari miseta tokoro de
sore ja jibun ga munashiku naru dake ja nai?

uh ikou ka! it’s time to wake up!
me wo samashina! tsuyosa wa meikaku
forget the fear and doubt you gotta burn it up
ichi ka bachi ka sa! asu mo futashika
sadame nante kowase fight for yourself!
me wo sorasuna fly again!

‘tsuyoku naritai!’ to negau koto de
furueteta hane wa yami wo kirisaiteku
kimi ga iru kara mou kowakunai yo
sono te nigitte mou ichido ano sora e!

dareka no tame ni nante 1mm [ichimiri] datte
ugoita kotosura nakatta
demo ima wa kinou made no boku ja nainda
tatakatteru bokura wo tatakawanai
hitotachi wa warau kedo
sore ja imamade to 1mm [ichimiri] mo kawaranain ja nai?

Are you ready for the battle to the next stage! te wo nobashite
tsukamitoru no sa chikara wo everyday!
Up side down! joushiki nante blast out!!
dare mo ouitsukenai spiido de right now!
nando datte toberu with the follow wind
me wo sorasuna fly again!

‘yowasa datte kimi no tsuyosa’ to
oshiete kureta kara boku wa mata tachiagareta
kimi no tame nara donna itami mo
koete koko kara mou ichido ano sora e!

tada no way! nante hakisuteta toko de
sore de okay! nante sekai ja nakute soredemo

‘tsuyoku naritai!’ to negau koto de
furueteta hane wa yami wo kirisaiteku
kimi ga iru kara mou kowakunai yo
sono te nigitte

‘yowasa datte kimi no tsuyosa’ to
oshiete kureta kara boku wa mata tachiagareta
kimi no tame nara donna itami mo
koete koko kara mou ichido ano sora e!

[Lyrics] EXILE TAKAHIRO – Love Story

hitotsu tsutaetai kotoba wo mune ni daite
kyou mo mada onaji michi aruku

sora ni kiseki wo motomete miagete mo
dokoka de mita kumo ga saegitteita

mabushii kaze ni kono mayoi mo
fukitobaseta nara

ima todoketai yo kono yume to
seiippai no ai wo tsumekonda kara

saa tobira wo akete
futari no mirai wo mitsukeyou
kowagaru koto wa nai no sa

toki ni kirei na hitomi no oku ni aru
hi no hikari ga todokanai basho

maru de fuyu no owari sae mo kizukenai hodo
kajikande furueru hana no you ni

ryoute de yasashiku atatamete
sakasetai kara

mou matasenai yo kimi dake ni
kono okurimono wo uketotte yo

sou me no mae ni aru
futari no ai wo hibikaseyou
tokubetsu na MERODII wo

koko kara hajimaru STOORII wo
terashi tsuzuke you

ima todoketai yo kono yume to
seiippai no ai wo tsumekonda kara

sou me no mae ni aru
futari no ai wo hibikaseyou
tokubetsu na MERODII wo

You were meant for me…

[Lyrics] Nissy – doushiyou ka

doushiyou ka

arikitari na DOJI ya mistake
donna sugata mo kawaikute
te wo sashinoberu koujitsu wo kure yo
denwa goshi ja tarinasou da
Tonight’s the night
konya no shuuden ni noriokurete minai?

amasugiru mistake
issho kenmei na kimi ni doushiyou ka
tasuketai da keredo
boku no sukoshi wo
kimi ni agetai
sonna amasugiru mistake

kimi wo kono mama tsuresaru yo
iesou de ienai kono omoi
modokashii jikan zenbu kimi no sei da yo
konna tsuyogari wo hodoite
Tonight’s the night
Hora sorosoro
machigai okasou yo

amasugiru mistake
issho kenmei na kimi ni doushiyou ka
tasuketai da keredo
boku no sukoshi wo
kimi ni agetai
sonna amasugiru mistake

TIMING toka
riyuu wo matsu yori
ima te wo nobasou
boku no sei da ne
ashibumi na no wa
honto shippai ga kowakute
nakanaka ugokidasenai yo

sou boku wa kimi ni koi wo shiteru dake
hontou wa
tasuketai to ka ja nai ka mo

doushiyou ka

amasugiru mistake
issho kenmei na kimi ni doushiyou ka
ima sugu dakishimetai
boku no subete
kimi ni agetai
sonna amasugiru mistake

I don’t want kids!

Note: I don’t disrespect anyone out there who already have kids and are leading happy, fulfilling lives. Having kids has its merits. So does a life without kids.

Why am I writing this?

I must be such a bitter person to bring this topic up onto my blog but just hear me out. I constantly have people telling me:

  • “One day, you WILL have kids.”
  • “People get married, and then they have kids.”
  • “Who’s gonna look after you when you grow old?”
  • “Don’t you love your partner?”
  • “Have my babies.” (haha just kidding)
  • “You may think that you don’t want kids now, but once your friends around you start having kids, you’d want them too.”

Imagine how I feel when I have to explain myself repeatedly why I don’t want kids, let alone have them at all under peer pressure. :(

Growing Up

Since I was little, I knew that I didn’t want kids. So you might think that at that age, I’m too young, naive, and know nothing about the real world… well, children can be more observant than you think.

Initially the reason I didn’t want kids was that I could see how my parents were because of me and my siblings. They always argued on who would be responsible for which kid, cooking for 6 people, cleaning after 6 people, taking the kids to school, etc. The stress eventually accumulates and they take out their anger on each other, or even blame it on the children. I didn’t want to become such an unfair person just because I was worn out from family matters. So from a young age, being brought up in a Catholic family, I decided to avoid the same family issues in the future by aspiring to become a nun. No marriage, no kids.

15 years or so later.

After realizing that I have rights and control over my own life and can remain single should I wish for it, I decided against nunhood (I thought marriage was compulsory unless I wanted to become a nun haha). I wanted someone who can love me and my imperfections, someone who can take care of me and be there for me through thick and thin. And in return, I will love them unconditionally and do everything I can to make sure that they’re happy. We can even get married and be together forever. But…

I still don’t want kids.

I’m well aware of the things that one can only experience with having a child, like:

  • parenthood
  • watching your children grow up to become fully fledged adults with your partner
  • watching you and your partner grow and mature
  • facing new challenges with your family together
  • patience and perseverence (or developing them since I don’t have any)
  • your child’s first words
  • that moment when your kids start school
  • that moment when you teach your kids to drive
  • having to deal with hypocrisy when your kids ask ‘did you use to sleep at 9am every night too?’ (I sleep at 3-4am) or ‘did you eat junk food after 12?’ (chocolates, McDonalds, pizza, you name it, I ate it all).
  • having to deal with your kids going to “a friend’s house” to “study”
  • having to deal with your kids wanting a smartphone, tablet or computer
  • THEN having to deal with your kids meeting shady people on the internet (note that problems with technology and social networks can only get worse from here)

People say that having children is, in a way, a sign of trust and proof of your love for your life partner. Personally for me I disagree. Having children is a lifelong responsibility that would take away valuable time that could have been spent with your partner. It would take away any opportunities to just be together, like:

  • travelling the world together
  • pursuing careers that require relocation
  • focusing and excelling in your career
  • wanting a small house but with a huge garage for our car collection
  • expanding and modifying your car collection
  • trying and discovering new things or learning new skills
  • pursuing personal interests without limitations
  • giving your partner your full undivided attention and love
  • being spontaneous with weekend plans
  • relaxing
  • watching M rated movies etc, instead of stuff like Dora the Explorer and whatnot
  • going out late without having to hire a nanny
  • romantic dinners anytime we want without kids thirdwheeling
  • and most importantly, finding time to be alone to reflect, recover and refresh.

My boyfriend and I.

Fortunately I am with someone who shares my views. The best thing about it was that I didn’t have to confront him about it. While we were driving around, he just casually said that he doesn’t want kids. I glowed. All this time I’ve been trying to find a way to bring up this topic, and yet couldn’t because I was afraid of disappointing him, in case he actually wanted kids. He’d rather be there for me and love only me every moment he can, as well as focus on his career, and having our very own awesome workshop and garage for our car babies. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have found him.

So in conclusion…

Please… Don’t try to change me! Don’t be such a know-it-all, I know myself and my capabilities better than anyone. I know I’m not gonna be a good parent, so I’m doing myself and my non-existant child a favour. It simply won’t make me happy. And besides, it’s up to between my partner and me, not peer and social pressure :).

Catherine.

P.S: I’m down for owning 20 cats though.

Career Talk

I had an opportunity to enter a graduate program, doing business design in Canberra.

I applied for it half heartedly knowing that with my terrible luck with jobs, I’m bound to not even make it through the first round.
But I ended up proceeding through to the next few rounds. Surprised and hopeful, I went through with the most ridiculous and lengthy recruiting process I’ve ever been through. I took numerical, literacy and logic tests that gave me the biggest headaches, and had to scour through my computer for ages to find a living copy of my outdated academic record from 2 years ago, since I no longer had access to my uni documents.

The moment I received an interview invitation, instead of being excited to meet them, I began to stress and panic. Why did I want the position?

If I were to get in, I would have to move to Canberra. Away from my boyfriend, my family, my cat and my friends for an empty void known as the capital city of Australia. I’d be gone for a year, doing something perceived by others as ‘successful’, yet to me it felt like a ‘miserable desk job’.

I thought long and hard for weeks, discussing my options with my close friend and boyfriend. I thought that this would be the only chance I would have at a stable career related to my field. No other design studio in Melbourne wants me. No other places I’ve applied for would accept me either. Friends told me to just go for the interview anyway, just to gain experience for future interviews.

In the end, my decision was to withdraw my application altogether.  It may seem cowardly… but the way I see it, there’s nothing worse than pursuing something that you don’t have the heart for. If I were to pursue this any further, I would be contradicting my beliefs and losing my sanity over a chance at a job. (I believe jobs exist to drain any trace of happiness from people…but not me!!!!)

And besides,  I’ll never want to become a ‘professional tosser’.  I’d rather do what I’m doing now: making peanuts, be my down to earth self, and putting my happiness and my relationships first.

Do what you love, otherwise you’re wasting your time.

Catherine.

P.S – I just got my first legit job! I’m currently loving it! It’s physically demanding (my thighs were sore for two days after my first 5 hour shift) and I get to have fun while working with my awesome workmates! Just as my boyfriend has found his seemingly ‘perfect’ job at GM Holden, I believe I’ve found my place right here, 10 minutes drive away from my comfy warm bed :). It’s been a long time since I have looked forward to rolling out of bed in the morning.