Fallen

It’s been a long time, catterbox. I come with a rant blog. Very personal.

I’ve spent so many hours at uni that I have no idea of anything that’s going on at home anymore. I really miss my little kitten, Peanut, and sincerely wish I could be there to keep him company. Really can’t blame the fact that he’s warming up to my younger sister now😦

The one thing I am most proud of about myself is that I do things honestly. I can’t lie without making it obvious that I am, and if need be, I’ll take responsibility for my actions. By living honestly and going by the book.. or even by the mum , I hoped to gain trust and understanding in return. The way I see it, it’s fair for both sides. But now I think it’s no use playing the goody-goody. I could be the person who sleeps around, takes drugs, steals, do exactly everything I was told not to do, but still get the same amount of trust and understanding I expected from the people I depend on – my family.

I was always proud of my family in whatever form its in. My family stuck together through the hard times, despite losing one crucial member. My family called me selfish and inconsiderate, and I would take every word they say to heart. My family celebrated my achievements and my downfalls, and helped me grow up to become the person I am today – and I am happy the way I am. I’m willing to look over any flaws any of my family members have. no matter how bad they are. That’s how I’ve lived with my family all my life.

But what happened to it all?

Take my birthday for example. I celebrated it with my mum, brother, younger sister and Peanut. The other sibling was dead on her bed, wasted from the night before. Seriously what the fuck. See if that was me, I would’ve got an earful while I was in bed, followed by blankets getting pulled off me, and getting pulled out of bed physically. I tried to hold back tears at the dinner table.. who would want to cry sad tears on their own birthday? On the other hand when it was her birthday two weeks later, everyone in the family received a rather blunt SMS from her demanding to know if we were free for dinner. It so happened ever so conveniently that I was busy at uni that day. So instead of proceeding to have a family dinner without me, she postponed it to another day that I can go. Tch. Demanding my presence like a spoilt princess.

This other sibling has been forgiven many more times than she is worth. I know this because I can see it has taken its toll on my family. My brother can’t take it no more, my sister lost all respect for her, and my mum is hanging by the thread. As for me… I’m just working my ass off at uni trying to scrape my way through this course so it’s over and done with.

She’s implemented so many responsibilities and expectations upon me, especially in regards to taking care of my pet kitten. What the hell do you know about taking care of cats? Don’t you know that bathing them EVERY SINGLE WEEK will irritate their skin? Once a month is more than enough for a self-cleaning animal. Cats simply DO NOT NEED a bath. What the hell do you know about having responsibilities anyway? Sometimes the things you say or believe in just make me LUL inside.

It’s fine if you give up on me, really. I mean if you believe that staying up all night to finish an assignment is worse than what you’re doing to yourself then I have nothing else to say besides “YOU. DUMB. BITCH”. But thanks for the mistakes you made. I’ve learned a great deal from them even though you obviously haven’t.

Have a great life.

*catherine

One response to “Fallen

  1. Older siblings can be annoying to handle. Maybe I’m just saying that because me and my sister have our moments…

    Don’t let one member ruin it for you though. Of course you love your family, and as your life goes on, you’ll find you have less time and have to spend more of your time doing your own things…just be sure that you express that love you have in your own way =]

    I sometimes wish that someone in my family would understand me, but I guess that’s a rare option when being in a family…

    I dunno, I’m ranting on my own now xD

    Just remember cat. Tell yourself this.
    You are a great person ^^
    And you have the potential to be moar awesome😉

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