Wishful Thinking

Today I got my new Wacom Intuos4 tablet. Today my sister got released from hospital. And today, I also had an unforgettable encounter.

Japanese host student. His host family made a last minute booking at the restaurant I worked at. When they came in, we were completely swamped with customers, and I couldn’t work properly… The moment I saw him, I gave him an apologetic look, because we’re not an authentic Japanese restaurant, and that was what his host family wanted LAWL.

His host family got me to help communicate with him.. I did so willingly.. but unskillfully. My mind froze, and I only communicated with him word by word.. my grammar is so broken.. but he still tried to understand. Things like ‘do you need to go shopping for anything?’ and ‘did you get souvenirs for your family?’ and ‘when are you going back?’… He said that he’ll get souvenirs towards the end of his trip, which is 21st of March.

We ran into some complications, and eventually… they started their teppanyaki meal. I watched him catch the egg, and he caught all of them successfully. I got him another drink, and whispered ‘ganbatte’ to him for the next teppanyaki game. He gave a slight smile and a thumbs up. I melted LAWL. When he stood up to play the ‘catch the bowl’ game, I was stunned by his perfect stature… perfect height and perfect degree of “skinniness”. He pwns all the JE guys, seriously.. they should scout him!! I made my rounds around the restaurant, and every time I look his way, he’s always looking at mine. When I make eye contact, he shifts his eyes away. Ah, innocence. He’s still in high school.

Meeting him threw away my logical side. Usually I would still be sane, and think that this is not real, it’s just a phase, that I’ll get over it in 20 minutes… that he’s no good because he’s too young… he doesn’t even live here, he has a family back in Japan… These were the kind of thoughts I would be thinking in normal situations… But no, all I could think of was how to be closer to this person I was so curious about.

When it was time for him to go… I just froze… I wanted to prolong the time we said our goodbyes. His host dad thanked me for helping them out, and I apologised that I couldn’t do more. I kept glancing at him, but all he gave was a brisk wave… I wanted to say ‘have a safe trip’… but, well, cat got my tongue I suppose. My mind froze like it did so many times that night when I tried to talk to him. I watched him leave… out the door, til I couldn’t see him again…

When he was gone, I went crazy. I ran up and down the restaurant, unable to keep my cool. What I was feeling was pure emotions, adrenaline and a longing for a person – which I haven’t felt since like 5 years ago in year 10.

But… my memory of what he looked like is beginning to fade… I tried to draw an impression of him.. but nothing makes me feel the same… I tried to draw his eyes… the slanted (upwards) shape of his eyes… but I didn’t get it quite right. If anything, the more I drew, the harder it is to recall his looks…

Anyways… I should probably end here, I sound freaky enough as it is… Just wanted to write about today to remind myself that… I am indeed capable of having feelings, and knowing when it is “right”. The feeling of no regret, no turning back, and as corny as it sounds, the feeling of being with “the one”.. at the time 🙂 I’ll never forget him.



One response to “Wishful Thinking

  1. Wow. That is a very interesting experience. Well, im glad to hear that you enjoyed his stay. It is too bad that his face is beginning to fade from your memory. I hope you two will meet again later in life. ^ ^

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