I had an opportunity to enter a graduate program, doing business design in Canberra.
I applied for it half heartedly knowing that with my terrible luck with jobs, I’m bound to not even make it through the first round.
But I ended up proceeding through to the next few rounds. Surprised and hopeful, I went through with the most ridiculous and lengthy recruiting process I’ve ever been through. I took numerical, literacy and logic tests that gave me the biggest headaches, and had to scour through my computer for ages to find a living copy of my outdated academic record from 2 years ago, since I no longer had access to my uni documents.
The moment I received an interview invitation, instead of being excited to meet them, I began to stress and panic. Why did I want the position?
If I were to get in, I would have to move to Canberra. Away from my boyfriend, my family, my cat and my friends for an empty void known as the capital city of Australia. I’d be gone for a year, doing something perceived by others as ‘successful’, yet to me it felt like a ‘miserable desk job’.
I thought long and hard for weeks, discussing my options with my close friend and boyfriend. I thought that this would be the only chance I would have at a stable career related to my field. No other design studio in Melbourne wants me. No other places I’ve applied for would accept me either. Friends told me to just go for the interview anyway, just to gain experience for future interviews.
In the end, my decision was to withdraw my application altogether. It may seem cowardly… but the way I see it, there’s nothing worse than pursuing something that you don’t have the heart for. If I were to pursue this any further, I would be contradicting my beliefs and losing my sanity over a chance at a job. (I believe jobs exist to drain any trace of happiness from people…but not me!!!!)
And besides, I’ll never want to become a ‘professional tosser’. I’d rather do what I’m doing now: making peanuts, be my down to earth self, and putting my happiness and my relationships first.
Do what you love, otherwise you’re wasting your time.
P.S – I just got my first legit job! I’m currently loving it! It’s physically demanding (my thighs were sore for two days after my first 5 hour shift) and I get to have fun while working with my awesome workmates! Just as my boyfriend has found his seemingly ‘perfect’ job at GM Holden, I believe I’ve found my place right here, 10 minutes drive away from my comfy warm bed🙂. It’s been a long time since I have looked forward to rolling out of bed in the morning.